I wrote earlier this month about questioning the value of incarnation this Advent season, about having faith, or at times, just attempting to. Recent horrific events in Connecticut have made it even harder to hold these questions, and I walked around for a couple of days furious, shocked and numb. As most everyone else did, I thought of the young ones I love and had to hold at bay any thoughts of “what if” if I didn’t want to hyperventilate.
Increasingly, this Advent season seems to me about holding these difficult questions, as one wonderful commenter on my last post said, sitting with them in the dark before reemerging. I thought of times past when it’s felt necessary to do that, albeit for shorter periods of time, perhaps just the time it takes a plane to take off. I thought of an old post I wrote about What to Say to the Children. Part of my Advent practice this year will be spending time with them, playing with them, loving them, and paying close, close attention to what they say to me. For all their wonderful lessons, I am so very grateful.