The Nurse had surgery a few days ago for a torn ACL. Though I was in town staying with him the weekend before his surgery, I had to leave to go back to work just before the big event. He had plenty of help. The Deacon was in town with his family, and numerous friends and family live nearby. It wasn’t that he needed me to be there. But I wanted to be there. It was tough to leave. 

As is the case for many of us, my friends and family are spread out all over the country. In a way it’s nice; no matter where I go there’s a good chance I know someone who doesn’t live that far away. But I also find myself pulled in many directions at once. Even the Photographer’s house is enough of a drive to make it tough to spend time together most weeknights, when I get home at 6 or 7 and he gets up for work at 5 the next morning.

Coming back from a trip to visit family recently, I felt the familiar sad exhaustion that comes from trying to live many different lives within this one small lifetime – a life centered on my family, another focused on careers (I have more than one, a difficulty in and of itself), another fed by learning and adventure. It’s a wonderful thing to have such resources, such magnificent choices. But I haven’t yet found a way to live this one life, and live it well.